Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize