Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
