Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
