Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
