Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I love you. Go after that dick
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
