i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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