Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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