I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
