I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize