I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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