whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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