so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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