Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
