The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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