how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
