White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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