Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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