Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
