Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My feet surprised me
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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