she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
