Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
wrigley field is MILF paradise
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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