kristin has been a bad kristin
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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