is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize