some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
