He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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