I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
