It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I have post one night stand depression
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
