your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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