in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
