I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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