he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
