dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
