I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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