i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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