I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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