Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
