sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
