I CAN MOONWALK!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
