i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
