Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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