We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There's a naked man in my car right now.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
