every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
