now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
