He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
