Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
