so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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