and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
