Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she looked like the before picture.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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