dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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