He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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