its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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