BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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