Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
