I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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