fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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