Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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