2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
