dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
