white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Houston, we have a squirter
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
