Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize