i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
