I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
