I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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