pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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